Thursday, May 23, 2013

Keeping Up With the Graduating Seniors



Sometimes I still find myself struggling with exactly what we are doing with regards to our homeschooling, with the definition of education, and with our expectations for homeschooling children in this family.  

On one hand we tend to be something of an unschooling family.  Moving through life brings so many full and important lessons.  On the other hand, I believe in reading the classics, in being able to write a decent essay, in being familiar with history and geography and science and math.  These subjects don't just cover themselves when one unschools, so we do have lessons.  Um, a bit of dissonance happening, do you reckon? 

Maybe, but it works for us.  The kids do move back and forth with me as I move between these two poles of unschool and Classical homeschool.  I still have a problem with forcing kids to learn unnecessary things, memorize stuff, and meet standardized testing goals.  In my book, that is not learning, that is having kids meet adult needs for believing we are teaching something.  I am aware of my own needs and expectations and goals enough to limit how often I make the kids to work simply to comfort my fears and uneasiness.  And the truth is, getting my kids to meet my Classical Homeschooling goals is something of a joke.

It's tough right about now.  I see friends attending graduation of their own kids from academically rigorous high schools and I have to honestly confess that I'm feeling the doubt.  The prom pictures, the cap and gowns, the valedictorians, the SATS...  Elizabeth and I are both feeling the pull of these cultural milestones.  We are very proud of the experiences of our friends and thrilled to see the excitement of their accomplishments!  But that promise of a prom has always been a bit of a sticking point for my daughter...  We aren't seeing any of this happening down here in Australia, so we are hoping the homeschool proms offered back home will be fun for her next year...

I find myself having to think through my personal education philosophy frequently these days.  It's me.  I want to raise my kids right and, sometimes it's not so easy knowing what to do...

But when you get down to it, just because I'm struggling right now doesn't mean I think the school system is the answer.



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If you enjoyed this post, you may also like:
Rethinking Tertiary Education 
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Still Looking for the Disadvantages of Homeschooling?

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Having a Bad Homeschool Day:  14 Ways to Turn your Day Around


Sunday, May 19, 2013

First-Generation Atheist Parenting




In this world discussing religion with your children can be a bit of a land mine when you are not religious.  Our culture is saturated with religious dogma, words, memes, tradition, ideology, expectations, and whatnot and, sometimes, you can feel as though you are two-stepping around the world.  When the kids were smaller I remember feeling very protective of their minds, of wanting to keep them from absorbing the Christian ethos in the air.  It was everywhere and I didn't want them to internalize any of it.  When they are very small and highly aware of world messages, it can be a nightmare!

Elizabeth was particularly prone to seeking out the magical and mystical memes in the world and embracing them.  It was quite sweet and adorable when she was playing fairies, Peter Pan, and Easter Bunny.  Not so cute when she invoked the name of the various lords.  We have friends from many different religions and she would invoke Ganesh, Krishna, and The Goddess as often as she would invoke Jesus.  And I was far more accepting of the first few than of the latter.  For awhile there I am certain that I burdened her with my own anxieties about Christianity finding it's way into her mind as a "truth".  What can I say?  I was a newbie Skeptical parent...  I have learned that there is no reason to kill their fun because of how prickly I am about religions and how deliberate I am about words.  She doesn't carry the same history that I do and, therefore, does not share my knowledge and bias.  Yet.

Being a first generation atheist parent can be a challenge because we don't have long-standing traditions to fall back on.  We don't have the trite words and phrases on the tips of our tongues.  We don't have the visibility and support.  Often we are figuring it out as we go along.  And we are often parenting secularly without the support of our beloved family (and with family who are often trying to sabotage our very deliberate work.) 

And that's OK!  It is the hallmark of a freethinking, educated person to be able to make decisions based on facts, goals, intent, research, ethics, and choice rather than on habit and stigma.  In fact, I hesitate to hand over a LIST OF WAYS TO PARENT because any inclusion on such a list is merely my own best guess and experience and not a hard-and-fast rule.  Yet, here you go.  I am still writing such a list.  Because it's always nice to talk with like-minded people to find out what worked for them.  

My kids are older now, almost 16 and 12.  They are quite mature in their thinking and quite skeptical and critical thinkers.  Conversations about ethics/morality (not a word I normally use because of its religious connotations) and the world at large are ongoing and interesting.  I enjoy hearing their take on things.  It gives me hope for the generations to come.  Their refreshing ways of thinking and looking at the world make me feel quite certain of a few parenting points:


  • First and, perhaps, most obvious and oft-repeated suggestion (at least on this blog!) is to read many, many different mythological stories, including the  Christian stories, from very early on.  The library is full of wonderful tales and folklore to explore.  Mix Noah in with Doudicca, the Lambdon Worm with the Minotaur, Dream Time and Nirvana and Muspell, Changing Woman and Spider Woman and Coatlique, Taaroa and Kunitokotachi, the Iroquois Dream Woman in the Sky with Adam and Eve, Tonántzin with Xango, Hwangun and Mangala and Juok and Jupiter with Jesus, Zeus and Ra and Yahweh, and Zulu and Pan Gu.  You will find that none of the stories stand out as more true or wise than any others.  Consider your child firmly inoculated against believing that any of these stories as more than fiction!!!
  • Instead of "believing", LEARN.  Being a researcher, a questioner, a traveler, an experimenter, and a journeyer models important tools and predispositions for your child.  Having the ability, the willingness, and the habit of looking it up creates prophylaxis to nonsense.
  • Question Everything, but don't look for a fight!  Why are things the way they are in our culture?  What do the words around us mean?  What meaning and tradition lurk around us in symbol?  Religions have been a central part of civilization as long as we have had civilization.  When we model the questioning and the understanding of these age-old traditions, we allow ourselves to live freely among them without internalizing their original meaning.  For example, I refuse to utter any sort of pledge that I myself have not written and thought through.  The Pledge of Allegiance does not pass my lips.  But must I pass my own deliberate decision across to my children?  No, but I have discussed my problems with the pledge to them.  Let's let them make their own decisions.
  • Be nice.  There is no need to openly debase and demean any other person on the planet.  Be the change you wish to see in the world. 
You will err and you will succeed.  Learn, discuss your learning experiences with your children as they grow, and do your best.  Time is on your side.  You do not have to get every last message into their heads while they are still toddlers!  With my own kids, as they have grow and have learned to think and discuss, I have learned to trust their ability to make sense of the world around them.  To RELAX.  

All will be well and all will be well.





All of this clip art is mine.
Feel free to use it and link back to my blog.
Thanks!

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All-Knowing, All-Powerful, and Ever-Loving God

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How to Explain Religion to my Child

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Mind the Gap


Monday, May 13, 2013

Our Homeschool Day



When I get up at dawn, I walk outside to look on the clothes line for the cleanest and driest denim jumper to wear for the day.  While getting dressed I usually find seed pods and home-cooked meal recipes in the pockets...I can be so forgetful!  I love bringing in the laundry early in the morning.  After milking the cow and chasing the free-range chooks around the yard, I joyfully made a hearty breakfast for the kids who, by this time they are sitting at the table reading from their lesson books.  Writing notes.  Discussing politics.  Committed to their own education, while classical music is playing.  Taking their OCD and ADHD meds.

After a few hours of intensive learning and reading aloud to one another, we take a mid-morning break and walk out into the woods, identify bird songs, check on our fishing lines, and collect water samples for our running pond studies.  Oh, and we feed the llamas, dogs, horse, birds, chinchillas, chooks, reptiles, and carnivorous plants.

Upon our return we all work together in the kitchen on an organic lunch straight out of the garden, which we share with work-at-home Daddy.  After the dishes are tidied up straight away, we drive a few meals around to home-bound friends; they just love my cooking!  Back home we move on to our advanced math and science work.  Experiments are carried out and diagrammed, word problems are discussed, protractors are used.

While the kids are working independently and side-by-side for the afternoon, I take out my embroidery for a bit of relaxation.  How I enjoy their silence.  I work on some darling long skirts for my daughter and black vests for my son.  I have also made curtains for the den and camper, and costumes for the homeschool play.  I'm working on a knitted Christmas tree complete with ornaments, lighted bits, and singing animals.  I found the pattern on Pinterest. 

As formal lesson time ends, the kids get excited about working on their projects.  My daughter spends her time either practicing her ballet, raising baby chicks, working in her organic garden, or ranking all of the American presidents by words made up of anagrams of their names.  My son either works on his matchstick models, his outdoor Liberty Walk, or on cataloging stars by color and chemical make up.  He is also learning to play the spoons.  I get busy making phone calls for all of the volunteer activities that I participate in.  This is also the time we might walk down to the nursing home and sing songs for the residents.  How they love our voices!

When the afternoon wears on toward dinner, the kids start excitedly looking through the pantry planning on what do make for dinner; I can barely stop them!  My daughter might make a pie, some French appetizer, or some fresh home made noodles while my son might create a vegan delight out of nothing but leftovers.

My son tidies out his little closet under the stairs and enjoys some time in total darkness.  My daughter sits alone in her room.  After our family discussion where my husband tells us what we should be improving on, we sit quietly while Daddy smokes and relaxes.





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Friday, May 10, 2013

Meeting Online Friends

A friend that John has made through an online friend.
This is Eli on the left and John on the right in Redcliffe QLD.
I am SO lucky!
I have been in the position to meet people In Real Life who I actually initially meet online.
We are still in the infancy of the internet and in some ways we are learning about online etiquette and social rules.  And there are many stories out there of frightening and negative meet ups with online acquaintances.

But I have been so lucky!
In my travels I have been able to meet up with four online friends.

As the internet has matured, I have been a part of several online communities of atheists or homeschoolers, or other special interest groups that have been important to me over the years.  Because of the intimate nature of some groups, I have made friends with several people from these groups, people who I count as actual and true friends.  Today that is more acceptable, but several years ago that would have sounded socially-awkward, quite pathetic, and terribly embarrassing.  But I think Bollocks!  I have had the good fortune of befriending wonderful, smart, funny, caring people who live all over the world!  So I was one of the few people who has always been willing to call my online friends friends.

Our family has the good fortune of being able to travel quite a bit.  Through this travel I have been able to meet these friends face-to-face! A couple of years ago we went down to Florida for a rather lengthy stay as we considered the possibility of Jerry taking a job down there.  While on the coast I met my first friend!

Shay.
Shay and her husband Doug met my kids and I at a restaurant near Tampa, Florida.  Doug was worried that I might be a Christian about to swoop down and try to evangelize them...LOL.  But Shay and I had already been online friends at that point for at least two years.  So meeting one another was as easy and walking across the street.  She and Doug were as cool as I knew they would be.

Then came Rayven.
Rayven and I somehow really bonded online.  We met on an atheist parenting group and just *clicked*.  We had been online friends for two or three years when she and her boys flew into St. Louis from their military station in Okinawa Japan.  We had planned on her flying in and then driving up to Ohio to see her family.  When I picked her up she was exhausted, hungry, and carrying tons of luggage and two boys.  After a little snack and some sleep, she was back!  That amazing, sharp woman that I knew and loved.  She was a bit taller than I had expected...!

Julianna.
When we moved from St. Louis to Brisbane we stopped for business in San Francisco.  Yay, the chance to meet Julianna!  Although we only had time for one luncheon together, she was the kind of woman you would want to hang with.  She is family-oriented, strong, funny, sweet, and GAME!  She is a risk-taker who grabs life by the horns.  Seriously, I'm thrilled to be her friend!

And most recently, Cathy!


Cathy is an absolutely beautiful and gracious woman who befriended me just weeks before we moved down here to Australia.  I met her at her blog Beautiful Life.  Upon our arrival in Brisbane I met a tidal wave of people, including Cathy.  We finally had the chance to sit and talk the other day at a beach day for a group of homeschoolers. Let's just say, she is the fourth SCORE! of my online friends who have surpassed their online presence in awesomeness!  Cathy is gentle and strong, and sweet and genuine.  She is lovely.

Maybe it is still a bit of a faux pas to call people you meet on the computer friends, but I don't care because the people who I am honored to have met ARE my friends.  Really and truly.


Questions for You





If you have a  blog, have you gotten those "tag" type of posts where you are complimented or awarded by a homemade award and then asked to pass along a questionnaire and to "tag" others.  Well.  This isn't one of those.  LOL

But I would enjoy reading your answers!  Here are the questions.
Answer the questions before reading my answers!

Here are MY questions for YOU:
  1. What prompted you to begin homeschooling?
  2. What homeschool books have encouraged you on your journey?
  3. Do you have a favorite read aloud book?
  4. If you could only have three homeschooling books/curriculum, which would you choose?
  5. Where can we find your favorite homeschooling blogs?
  6. What do you to do to demonstrate continual learning to your kids?
  7. What’s your favorite way to unwind after a crazy day?
  8. Is there a quote you find inspiring?
  9. What did you do to prepare for homeschooling?
  10. Where do you find your best support for homeschooling?
  11. Where do you encounter the most difficulty in homeschooling?
  12. How do you challenge yourself to be a better teacher?
  13. What is your schedule like?
  14. What has been your best accomplishment as a homeschooling parent?
  15. What item has made the most significant impact to your homeschooling?
  16. What is the most important thing that you want your children to come away with as a homeschooling graduate?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are my answers:
  1. What prompted you to begin homeschooling?  It started with an innocent comment from a friend about how I talk to the kids and how I was already a homeschooling mom.  I began to realize that she was correct.  I started thinking about homeschooling when my daughter was in kindergarten.  I volunteered in her classroom one afternoon a week; it was the afternoon they went to the school library and heard stories read by the librarian.  For THREE straight weeks in December, she read Jesus stories.  I was angry and confused and upset as hell.  No Santas, no snow, no reindeer, no Hanukkah, no dredels, no solstice.  Jesus.  In a public school.  My daughter was confused and convinced that I was not telling her the truth.  It was awful and just enough to push me over the line.  That started it.  Today, the reasons why we homeschool today have nothing to do with those early reasons!
  2. What homeschool books have encouraged you on your journey?  Does it make me sound like a doofus if I don't read many homeschooling books anymore?  I used to read every single one I could get my hands on to and I always ended up feeling totally inadequate...
    I loved "Teenage Liberation Handbook" best in the early days of reading (eleven years ago) and The Over-Scheduled Child.  Nothing lately, though.
  3. Do you have a favorite read aloud book?  The kids and I enjoy reading adventure series books aloud.  It had been awhile, but we enjoyed reading "The Lost Hero" by Rick Riordan.  We loved his other ones as well.  And the kids and I also read "39 Clues" and enjoyed it tremendously.  We also love reading poetry aloud.  "Mandy" by Julie Edwards (Andrews).
  4. If you could only have three homeschooling books/curriculum, which would you choose?  We tried several different curriculum, but didn't like any of them.  I like textbooks.
  5. Where can we find your favorite homeschooling blogs?  I put my faves along the left side of my blog.
  6. What do you to do to demonstrate continual learning to your kids?  Reading is a big one. I am almost never without a book or three within reach. I answer questions with, “Let’s look that up.” to the point that my kids usually just ask to look things up now. I also try to display a willing attitude to try something new. We’re forever going some place or doing something new, and I always try to remind them to take something away from the experience and we usually reinforce that at home with the next day’s lessons – even if it’s only a question or two.  I am a continual learner myself and, although they tease me about it, they see it and emulate it.
    We research major purchases together, check out news stories and background stories, science stuff...just everything, really!
  7. What’s your favorite way to unwind after a crazy day?  Hot tea, reading, Facebook, movies
  8. Is there a quote you find inspiring?  I have many favorite quotes, many of which I have made in to clip art and included in various places on this blog.  LOL  I have been loving Rumi quotes lately.  But the one that really started me on the path to my real life is "Question Everything" and my absolute favorite quote, by Carl Sagan:
  9. What did you do to prepare for homeschooling?  It was years ago now, but I spent six months reading and researching everything I could get my hands on.  At that time there was far less online than there is now.  I talked to everyone who I respected.  I read dozens of books.  But it still came down to one thing:  trusting the process.
  10. Where do you find your best support for homeschooling?  From my husband, from my best friends, and online on some great Facebook groups.
  11. Where do you encounter the most difficulty in homeschooling?  I think I have discussed this again and again on this blog.  The things that I find the most difficult are knowing what to do with my daughter and doing what is best for my son.   And electronic time wasters.  Living down here in Australia has brought new difficulties, namely finding enough friends and people who the kids can hang with OFTEN.
  12. How do you challenge yourself to be a better teacher?  At this point I am generally working on passing the torch on to my daughter.  Challenging her to be a better teacher to herself...
  13. What is your schedule like?  We have been unschooling most of the time here in Australia.  But, we still have a couple of days a week where the kids have lessons before getting onto any electronics.  We have never been schedulers.  
  14. What has been your best accomplishment as a homeschooling parent?  I have tremendously enjoyed leading reading groups in our co op.  Leading other teen groups for the homeschool group, too, has been so enriching to me personally.  Having Elizabeth reach for the stars with her reading and writing and performing.  Having John get enthusiastic about science.
  15. What item has made the most significant impact to your homeschooling?  The computer, hands down. OH, and our traveling!  
  16. What is the most important thing that you want your children to come away with as a homeschooling graduate?  The obvious things.  That the world is enormous and worthy of exploration.  That they are kick ass individuals with a great deal to offer.  That they are capable of learning anything.  And that learning never ends.



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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

On the Road



Elizabeth is old enough where, if we were back home in The States, she could be driving on a learner's permit.  But here in Brisbane she has to be 16 to drive.  Which leaves us in a pickle.  Well, it would be a pickle IF I were a rule follower, which I am not. I have been getting her behind the wheel for about a year and a half now.  I figure that more practice is better than less when it comes to St. Louis highways.
They are brutal!

I just want my American friends and readers to think about this.  How would you like to have your teen on the left side of the car, driving on the left side of the road?  Not to mention and roundabouts!!!!!!  She is doing pretty good now that she has gotten her courage up enough to give it a try.  The roads here are quite a bit narrower than the roads back home, so that is an issue at times.

It is a real adventure!

But I have a major concern with us getting back home and having to acclimate ourselves to driving on the right side of the road and in the right side of the car and on the St. Louis highways.  I'm sure that Elizabeth will have a problem with the adjustment, but I have to admit that it will be difficult for me as well.  While I have been driving for 35 years in America and only nine months in Australia, I often have dreams where I am struggling to remember how to drive.  LOL  And when I see movies or TV shows set in The States, I realize how mixed up I feel.

We are planning on a visit home in July, so I recommend all Missouri drivers keep a look out for a silver RV driving in the wrong lane down Hwy 255...



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Rethinking Tertiary Education




I couldn't get to sleep the other night.  All I could think about were the astonishingly informative websites out there that are devoted to offering college-level lectures, online classes, and entire textbooks for free or at reasonable costs.  
Listen, I have a masters degree.  My husband is highly educated.  I have lived for many years believing in the "American Dream":  how a good education is a key to opening up all of the possibilities out there!

However...now that I am in another country and seeing how different the education/work systems are down here, I'm rethinking the "truths" that I have held dear for these many years. 

In the States, our undergraduate degree programs begin with a lengthy, costly, and exclusionary "General Studies" program.  The first two years of undergrad are those courses that are there to make a student "well-rounded".  And, in all honestly, I learned so much from some of them... not much from others.  It seemed though, in retrospect, that those General Studies requirements did not contribute to my career.  They did contribute to me as a person.  I did gain a great deal of cultural knowledge and depth of study.  But it would have been possible to pursue my career without them.  

Down here in Australia, I have learned that students do not have those two years of study.  They go straight from high school straight into uni where they begin work in their chosen field of study, including having mentoring and apprenticeship programs.  Then they go straight into the work force.  Young adults "fly the coop" and  become independent earlier here in Australia.  My experience has been that many Aussies tend to think that Americans coddle their kids at this age, even calling them Kids is frowned upon; they are adults moving into adulthood.

For these Australian young adults in uni, they take none of the general studies.  There is no Art Appreciation, Literature, Weather, Biology 101, Algebra, Physics, Calculus, Logic, English 101, Western Civ, Sociology, Psychology, etc...

On one hand, I would not have wanted to have miss these classes.  I enjoyed them.  They taught me a great deal about civilization and about things that I didn't know that I didn't know.  I absolutely see their value and I am grateful for the work that I did during those years.  But, at times, I almost quit school due to the financial burden of taking two full years of courses unrelated to my major.  At times, I had to drop out of classes that were difficult for me.  (I registered for Logic three times.  I finally got an "A" the third time, but twice I couldn't make sense of it.)  At times it seemed that the entire purpose of those first two years was to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Those General Studies years are a huge hurdle for many students.  So many people don't even get past the giant wall that is the first two years of college in order to get to the meat of their educational goal.  Is that an unspoken point of the General Studies years, to exclude all but the cream of the crop?  Or maybe, are those years designed to keep new students out of the work force for a while as they incubate?

I have been rethinking the real need for those first two years of college.  Are they essential?  Wouldn't more people be able to create and meet successful career goals if the education and knowledge was more accessible?

Some would say that I am suggesting making college EASIER.  But I disagree.  I am suggesting we make college more USEFUL and PRACTICAL.  

There will always be those motivated students out there who are committed to a classical education and who are willing to put their noses to the grindstone while they persistently and earnestly carry themselves to their highest potential.  There will also be students who seriously want to get a job and to earn a living.  Why not make that second option more feasible and possible by opting out of the General Studies?  

Does this take away the snobbery and exclusionary nature of  the term higher education?  Well, maybe it would, but it would also give more people the opportunity to get a degree and to get a better-paying job.  Oh oh.  Maybe the increased competition in the work force doesn't sound appealing...

Listen, the fact is, if a person has access to a computer, a library, and some financial support, being uneducated, poorly educated, or uninformed is a total choice.  If a person has the basic resources of internet access and time, almost anyone can put together a decent education on paper.  Self learning students are great students and their dedication and drive really mean something in the world.  

When I went to college the first time, I went because it was just what you did.  It was what was expected of me.  When I got there I wasn't the slightest bit motivated to learn.  I partied alot.  I didn't put my mind in my classes.  I made quite a mess of it.  I guess I wasn't "college ready."  When I went to college for the second time several years later, I was ready to learn and I was a self-starter who sought out educational opportunities and did whatever it took to get educated.  I worked hard to get that education.  Because I wanted it.  I want my children to struggle and to earn their education as well.

There is a long and dearly-held belief that the institutions of higher learning should be an exclusive cultivating ground for the best and the brightest and a place where classical education can take place.  A self-contained community where students can nurture their minds and their skills.  A place where students can try their wings at independence, debate, new ideas, and expanding their world view.  And that's all well and good and admirable and laudable.

In the real world, most people are simply looking for an education to get themselves a well-paying job.  And I can't help but wonder how the world is changing into a place where a higher-education can be obtained far from the incubating college campus and right in one's own home.  I think more and more students will eschew the college campus for self-study and life experience opportunities.

Sure, the trade offs are there.  Some of the trade offs are quite significant.  As we figure out these new resources and ways of preparing out young adults for the work force, I am willing to consider the possibility that COLLEGE isn't the only way to prepare one's self for independence.  ...What do you think?

I mean, I don't know everything and I'm just one amateur sociologist thinking aloud...



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In the Name of Transparency: Negatives of Homeschooling



How honest should I be here?
Well, I'm a bit too honest, I have heard, and this post will be no different.  Especially since I am PMSing.  Homeschooling isn't perfect.  No form of education and no parenting is perfect.  I have a strong need to be open and honest and to show readers the truth about (our) homeschool experiences.

People come to this blog for many reasons.  From the statistics available to me, I see many many people out there searching for negatives of homeschooling, disadvantages of homeschool, and posts against homeschooling.  (These are actual search terms that bring people here again and again.)  I try to accommodate them, but I'm not sure my information is what they are looking for.

Still I try.  I'm here to tell you about the negatives of homeschool in our family, in our house.  Our lives aren't perfect.  But our lives are good!
I am aware of growth areas that our family possesses.  We are imperfect.
Here, I am going to make it clear and transparent.  I am trying to discuss the "negative" as honestly and clearly as I can.  I have talked to the kids about this and they are supportive of the post.
  • Normalcy - The kids both have questions about what is "normal."  Are they "normal?  They both have had experiences where they have felt outside of the group and awkward when around large groups of school kids.  It's true.  They have both had experiences where they found these larger groups of kids confusing and ostracizing and creating of self-doubt.  They have both, at different times, walked away from events with groups of kids wondering why no one liked them.  Do I think this means that homeschooling doesn't work?  NO!  Not at all.  I think these feelings are absolutely normal, ironically.  I remember having these exact thoughts and feelings myself, and I was a public school kid.  Also, unlike my experience, they can put these thoughts into words and discuss them.  We are taking steps to improve their ability to interact in more situations and they are able to identify and verbalize their confusion.  Could you have done that at their age?
  • Hierarchy - The kids don't really "get" the social hierarchy of the school-kid groups and nor do they get the group mentality thing.  I remember not getting this either when I was a kid...  When at a playground, such as an event that happened today, I see John trying to figure the "popularity" thing out...and doing pretty well.  Other times he just doesn't understand the qualities that count as "cool" in mainstream kiddom.  The other day I was talking to a young girl who goes to school and asking her about this issue of status and popularity.  She was totally clueless about how the popular kids work.  Again, we can't really say this is a homeschool issue, but a kid issue, an issue of growing up and learning.  But homeschoolers are not excused from it.  Just today my son was talking about how weird he finds it when kids in his class (he is taking a drama class) don't listen to the instructor or when they can't stay on topic, or when they can't focus during group activities.  He doesn't get why kids are so uncooperative in group activities.  I can't help but wonder if he is really the one struggling to understand groups..?
  • Friendship Challenges - As a homeschooling family we have to deliberately seek out friendships and work to nurture them.  They aren't right next door or sequestered with the kids in the classroom year after year.  The kids have extremely excellent friendships, though.  Friends that I see as truly amazing people.  So, again, homeschooling friendships require more work, but they are worth it.
  • Regret - Will the kids regret not having gone to school?  Will they look back and wish that they had had a daily injection of public school and what that brings?  We talk about this sometimes.  At this point they feel quite certain that homeschool is completely their decision and choice.  Will they regret it?  I don't know.  Will public school kids regret not having been homeschooled?
  • I don't know everything - I absolutely do not know upper level math.  But when we do algebra and geometry, the kids get it.  We use high school textbooks for our lessons and we have always been able to figure it out, whatever it is.  I am usually able to get it long enough to get through a lesson, but I don't get it for the long term.  But they do.  As a matter of fact, this is an excellent example of how homeschool does work well.  The kids are learning how to learn algebra and geometry.  Learning how to learn.  Maybe this one shouldn't be on the list, but it's staying anyway because it's true; I don't know everything.  I couldn't list all of the presidents.  I don't know the constitutional amendments, I can't even remember what a hypotenuse is right now.  But I DO know how to find this information out!  And so do the kids.  Some would argue that knowing how to find out information is wisdom...,
  • Unmotivated Learners - No kidding, neither of my kids wants to learn algebra.  No one is interested in politics.  Neither of the kids cares much about other cultures or history or earth science.  It is murder trying to teach things to kids that they don't care about.  I know this for a fact, because I remember classrooms full of kids like this...in school.
  • PMS - I can be very moody and PMSing at times.  I dislike it tremendously.  The kids dislike it tremendously.  One of the kids also has PMS herself.  So this delight effects us regularly.  The nice thing is that we can organize ourselves around our best and more productive days and times.  But the PMS is no joking matter.
  • I am lazy - No doubt about it, sometimes I am the one who is not motivated.  Also, I dislike structure and rules.  This does effect my kids.  Bonobo definitely responds well to both structure and rules...  He and I have often discussed his needs and my difficulty in meeting those needs.  "No problem, Mom," he says, "I know what to do at those times."
  • It is difficult homeschooling kids who are not "readers" - at least for me.  I think of reading as a gateway drug.  It's like the door to so many wonderful worlds.  But neither of my kids enjoys reading anything that comes to them as an assignment.  The Doctor has read a hundred books this year...none of them from the list I gave her.  LOL And Bonobo really isn't a big reader.  Not his thing.  And DANG!  I am a huge reader! 

There it is, my list.
But it's MY list.  Other homeschool families would have a different list because there is no one family or list or description that covers all homeschool families.  So, if you, Dear Reader, came here looking for the BULLET that explains why homeschooling is bad, sorry to disappoint you.  But this is all I've got for you.

Even though this egregious list is before me in all of it's glory, in black and white, our family is still very much a homeschooling family.  Why?  With all of this ammunition against it?  Because we don't view the competition as any better.  AND because we choose it.  We are committed to the lifestyle.

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One more thing, the kids have asked me to out them with their real names. 
So, I present to you:
The Beautiful and Amazing Elizabeth



and The Awesome and Talented John






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*  This blog post is why I shouldn't blog while I am PMSing.   *grin*


Saturday, May 4, 2013

Atheist Collective Dwelling




Guest Poster:  John Loethen, AKA Bonobo

What about if we made something like church except for the atheists?  We could call it an Atheist Collective Dwelling.
You can't get any more comfortable than a "dwelling."  I mean, that's the most comfortable sounding place ever.
A dwelling.  Like a hobbit home.
We could do...collective dwelling...things.  Okay, I don't know, we could have science classes, have social things, maybe...  I would love to meet any cool scientist there and hear what is in their head!
But it wouldn't be like a school, no lines or anything.  But if people wanted to do activities and lectures and things they could just do them because they want to...but no rules.  Well, some rules, but only the kind that help people to get together in groups, not the kind to have power or control over you.
Rules like "no running" or "no shouting" wouldn't even be necessary because we only do this when we are excited about something.  Excitement is a great thing!
There would be a special room with a sign on the door that says "Do not Enter" but all who enter get treats and awesome stuff for not following the rules and for thinking for themselves.
We could do things for poor people, sad people, all kinds of things.  Whatever our hearts would tell us to do.  I'm sure if we watched the news more we would find lots of people who would like this place because we would all be thinking of how to make the world a better and smarter place.
What if we also had an atheist prayer...well, not a prayer, but a thing we say about Stephen Hawking and other people who we admire or who invented things to advance our world.  It would just be a way to say We're atheists and we're real glad.
I would want to be a kid in a community like this.

(I hope there are drama classes!)



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If you enjoyed this post you might also want to read this one:
I am an Atheist
Or try:
On Being an Atheist Parent
Another one you may enjoy:
Morality vs. Ethics







Just Sitting Here Listening...



I'm just typing as John is talking, kind of to me, kind of to himself:

I LOVE BEING ME!  I have the greatest life ever!  ...and the greatest FRIENDS!  I LOVE my friends!  I'm just thinking about all of the things we do when we are together...  I'm the luckiest guy ever, Mom!
You know, Mom, I love goggles...
Sheesh, yeah, I am thinking about when we go home and the sleepovers!  It's going to be EPIC!  But I'll miss my friends from here...  OMGosh, I'm going to miss my friends!

Yeah, it's not bad being the mom...




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If you enjoyed this post about John you may also like:  
Why Compassion is not a Technical Advantage

Or you may enjoy reading:  
My SUPER Super-Sensitive Kid
Or try this one:  
My Son's Face