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I've been an atheist for over eighteen years now; I realized my skepticism while my daughter was a tiny baby in her crib. At first I thought I could not tolerate the structure of man made religion and I decided that it was church itself that I could not accept. It was obvious to me at that time that the rules and guidelines were obviously creations of men, although they were said to be of god.
One of my first steps away from belief in a god was, first, to become clear that so much of the system was so clearly an invention of human beings. That was major for me in those days. As a former Catholic, I recall the fear of these questions and of my own resistance to the new clarity that I was experiencing.
So I left the church. It was difficult to lose that community that I loved so much. That loss was major and I sometimes feel that loss even now. So many of my friends were a part of that church and so many of my activities each week were directly involved with my church and diocese. The church calendar was my calendar because all of the feasts and celebrations and activities were important to me.
Anyway, now, nearing twenty years later, I still think fondly of the community of the church. But when I think of those people realistically I know that they would no longer be able to tolerate an atheist in their circle of friends...because atheists are to be feared and knowledge is eschewed for faith.
The longer I am an atheist, the more obvious the brainwashing and nonsense that religion offers. No wonder those old friends of mine are unable to be friends with me these days. They are well programmed. In order to be a part of that group of people, I must buy the doctrine in full, sacrifice all independent thought, and refrain from all questioning. I can't do that.
I spent many years feeling sad about losing that church community that I used to be a part of. But I realize that I was very replaceable in that company. I used to miss the community of the church, but the price is just too high. The longer I am an atheist, the more years I put behind myself as a skeptic, the harder it is to believe that I was ever able to believe, to have faith, at all.
Do you miss the community?
What do you do about it?
What do you do about it?
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